It’s that time of year again. The season of giving. The season of love. A celebration of our Savior’s birth. At a time when there is such excitement in the air, how is it possible to feel so much sadness and pain? Christmas is a time we spend with family and friends. But what if some of those family members and friends are no longer with us? As much as we may want to celebrate, it’s hard to ignore the deafening silence of the absence of our loved ones.
I have always LOVED Christmas. It’s my favorite time of year. Growing up, I listened to Christmas music year-round. Then I got married and realized I had inadvertently married a “no Christmas before Thanksgiving” kind of guy. Now, don’t get me wrong…I’m all about Thanksgiving, and I get annoyed that it has become so commercialized and glossed right over by much of the world. But that doesn’t take away from my love of Christmas and celebrating the birth of Jesus with family and friends. And the music. And the tree. And the lights…You get the picture. 😉
But this year is different. I’m supposed to be celebrating Ellie’s first Christmas, and she’s not here. On the one hand, I’m pretty jealous that she gets to experience her first Christmas with the very One who is the reason Christmas exists. But that doesn’t take away the ache of not having her here in my arms during this season. People say that I should be gentle with myself. They say it’s ok to not feel like celebrating. I’ve been told that people will understand if I am not up to attending events or participating in Christmas activities.
This year, Timothy and Caroline are VERY excited about Christmas. It’s hard to not giggle at Timothy’s enthusiasm for seeing Christmas lights or Caroline’s excitement at seeing the snowman ornament on our tree. Timothy has even decorated his own small tree this year using all of the decorations from the lower half of our big tree! I know they see Mommy feeling sad at times, and I don’t try to hide that from them. But I also don’t want to put a damper on their Christmas experiences, and I try to look at things through their eyes.
But if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t feel very “Christmasy” this year. I don’t feel like listening to the Christmas music on the radio. I don’t feel like going through the motions and traditions. I could do without the tree, without the lights, without the presents. I really don’t want to sing carols. I don’t want to be “merry.” With that said, this year more than ever before, I just want to focus on the true reason we celebrate. I can do without all the “fluff.” There’s a part of me that feels guilty for feeling that way and a part that wishes I could be a little more excited for the sake of those around me.
Here’s the thing: despite what our culture tries to distract us with, we celebrate Christmas because the God of the universe sent His Son to be born in the humblest way with the intention of sacrificing Him so that He could spend eternity with us.
As I reflect on the gravity of that statement, I am overwhelmed by the LOVE that God has for us. The fact that the Son of God left the glory of heaven to come to earth to live among us, knowing full well He would die the most horrible death despite living a perfect and sinless life astounds me. The Bible has a lot of names for Jesus, but there are two in particular that stand out to me this season: Prince of Peace and Immanuel, meaning “God with us.”
For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; And the government will rest on His shoulders; And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace. There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace…
Isaiah 9:6
The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel
(which means "God with us").
Matthew 1:23
I heard a song recently that really speaks to the way I’m feeling this Christmas season. I bawl my eyes out when I listen to it because it is yet another reminder that God knows exactly how I feel and is here weeping with me on those dark, silent nights. Like the song says, “there is no distance the Prince of Peace won’t go.” It's a beautiful reminder that no matter how deep my pain goes, His LOVE is even deeper and stronger.
If you are hurting this Christmas season, please know that He is ready and waiting to meet you right where you are. He hasn’t left us alone and broken in our pain. He longs to come in and heal and restore all that has been lost. He truly does give a peace that passes all understanding. All we have to do is receive it. Let Immanuel bring His divine hope, abundant grace and show you His unwavering faithfulness during your silent night this Christmas season. 💗
All is calm and all is bright
Everywhere but in your heart tonight
They're singing carols of joy and peace
But you feel too far gone and too far out of reach
Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night
From Heaven's height to manger low
There is no distance the Prince of Peace won't go
From manger low to Calvary's hill
When your pain runs deep, His love runs deeper still
He has always loved you, child
And He always will
Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night
Lift your head, lift your heart
Emmanuel will meet you where you are
He knows your hurt, He knows your name
And you're the very reason that He came
Somewhere in your silent night
Heaven hears the song your broken heart has cried
Hope is here, just lift your head
For love has come to find you
Somewhere in your silent night...
Love will find you
Love will find you
Love will find you
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