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Beautiful Terrible Cross



Short post today. It has been one of the tough days. I don't think about it often, but today, thoughts about Ellie's last day have plagued me. Everything from the moment she stopped breathing in my arms to sitting in the conference room when the doctors told us there was nothing else they could do for her to the her final moments with us. It was an awful day. I came across this video the other night when I was up the whole night with insomnia. It's called, "The Gravity and Weight of Suffering."


So much of this resonates with me. I've had those moments of feeling overwhelmed to the point that I feel like I'm completely spent and nothing else is left. Jesus wept as He walked in the gravity of loss. Watching this, I'm reminded that Jesus understands the pain and sorrow. He experienced it himself. Jesus' soul felt overwhelmed to the point of death. He knew what was about to happen to Him, and He dreaded it.

I've said before that when I was putting together my birthing playlist to listen to as Ellie came into the world, I felt particularly drawn to songs about the cross and the suffering of Christ. At the time, I didn't really understand why. Now I do. I have such a greater appreciation for the cross now that part of me lives in heaven. This song was one of the songs in my birthing playlist, a beautiful picture of His sacrifice.


Beautiful Terrible Cross - Selah
There is a beautiful terrible cross
Where though You committed no sin
Savior You suffered the most wicked fate
On the cruelest creation of men

Yet on that beautiful terrible cross
You did what only You could
Turning that dark inspired evil of hell
Into our soul’s greatest good

We see the love that You showed us
We see the life that You lost
We bow in wonder and praise You
For the beautiful terrible cross

There on that beautiful terrible cross
Though darkness was strong on that hill
You remained sovereign, Lord, still in control
As Your perfect plan was fulfilled

We see the love that You showed us
We see the life that You lost
We bow in wonder and praise You
For the beautiful terrible cross

We gained the riches of heaven
Jesus You paid the horrible cost
We stand forgiven and praise You
For the beautiful terrible cross
For the beautiful terrible cross

In the cross, in the cross
Be my glory ever
Till my raptured soul shall find 
Rest beyond the river

On these hard days, It is comforting to know that Jesus has walked the path I'm walking. He knows. And He is here. And because of His sacrifice, I can have hope for tomorrow. 💗

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