Gracefully Broken: The Legacy of Ellie Love

I’ve had a big cry brewing for several days now. I’m finding that my “normal” for now is to have a moment (or a few) daily where a few tears come and go at random times as I go about my day, and about once every week or two I’ll have a giant sobfest. Like overwhelming, comes on like a flood, "ugly cry" sobfest. And that’s ok. Those are the moments when I get alone with God and just let it come. I can’t always do that in the middle of life because kids, adulting, responsibilities. My heart might be in pieces, but life still goes on. The laundry won’t fold itself. The dishes won’t wash themselves. My two earthside babies need more than a mommy who constantly sits in a puddle of tears. They deserve more, so I soldier up and carry on. My to-do list was a mile long today. I woke up feeling energized and ready to tackle it. But it just wasn't happening. I felt like I just needed to give myself a minute. A day of rest. Don’t worry, I’m still taking care of my kids...

  This post has been “brewing” for several days now, but I just haven’t felt it was the right time to sit down and write it until now. As I am writing, I'm in awe yet again of God's perfect timing and how He continues to lead and guide me as I write these posts and share what's on my heart. Today is the coldest day of winter we've had so far this year, a deep freeze. As I sit here typing, I look outside my window and notice what a beautiful sunny day it is, despite the freezing temperatures. Ironic that God would inspire me to write about the coldest season of my soul on the coldest day of the year. Anyway...   So a couple of days after Christmas, I had the rare opportunity as a mom of 2 toddlers to be out and about by myself. I went to see my chiropractor and then on my way home, I decided I needed to go by the cemetery before going home. I messaged my husband, worried about being gone for too long since he was watching the kids. He graciously told me to tak...