Gracefully Broken: The Legacy of Ellie Love

My thoughts are all over the place today. As I sit down to write, I have no idea how to put together coherent sentences and transport them from my heart to the page. My heart is so very heavy. So many are hurting right now. Can anyone besides me relate to the feeling of being blown and tossed by the storms of life to the point that you can't even see straight or figure out which way to go? It's been a physically and emotionally draining past few days for me. I've been walking with a friend through an extremely difficult time. You know, when you're struggling, sometimes it's easy to block out everything going on in the world around you. But the truth is that others are struggling too. In fact, we may never know the pain hiding behind the smiles of the people we interact with, whether it's a lady at the grocery store or a friend who may be too afraid to share a painful struggle. I've learned that my courage to share what's on my heart has helped others ...

Funny story...This morning, as I jumped in my car and took off down the road running late to an appointment, I synced my phone to the car and pulled up my usual playlist. As I went to press play, I was happy because the first song was one of my favorites. I hit the button to back it up to the beginning of the song and accidentally went back to the previous song. I thought, "Oh well, this is a good one too. I'll listen and then get to my favorite one." I never made it to the favorite one....😄  It would seem that God had other plans for my alone time today. I love my frequent chiropractor appointments because not only do I feel better when I leave, but I also get nearly an hour of alone time in the car driving to and from the appointment. With 2 kiddos under 4 at home, I don't get a lot of quiet time or alone time these days, but it's something I desperately need - both the introvert in me and my soul crave that alone time. I try to be intentional about making...

Most experts agree that it's not a good idea to compare grief. It's actually one of the common mistakes made by people who mean well and who want to say something to try and help a grieving friend or loved one. When it comes to grief, using sentences that begin with, "At least....." is almost never helpful. I've heard all sorts of "at least" phrases that have been said to loss parents, some to myself. "At least you still have living children..." "At least you have your spouse to grieve with..." "At least you can get pregnant and have more children..." There is no "at least" scenario in which the "at least" outweighs the life has been lost. Grief and losses can't really be compared. Each situation, each loss, each journey looks different. Although some losses definitely feel bigger than others, at the end of the day, loss is loss. And that loss must be grieved, whatever that looks like. When an el...

It's no secret to anyone who has had any interaction with me that this past month has been INTENSE. I've written about some of it, but there is SO much more that I haven't shared here. Some of it I probably will at some point, other parts of it are more personal things that I will keep to myself. I've written about some of the external struggles, like the physical aspects of a late first trimester miscarriage and the hormone wreckage that happens afterwards and the below the belt attacks directly from the enemy who is trying to steal, kill and destroy me.  But I haven't talked a lot about the internal struggle that goes along with the outer struggles. This is partly because most of the time I have felt as if I don't even have any idea what's going on within my own mind, heart and spirit, so how could I possibly communicate anything to those around me, even to my closest family and friends? There is so much I'm still working through, so what I will...